Booked a table on a Monday night and asked for a quiet warm table, the booking was efficiently taken and I was looking forward to trying out a spin off from Spuntino in Byres Rd which I’m told is excellent(since been advised it’s not).
Arrived bang on time and was shown to a table where I could easily have functioned as the cashier I was so close to the till point. With visions of beeps, farts and the till drawer opening and closing I immediately requested a change of table and was shown to a table which seemed ok on the face of things but turned out to be a kitchen nightmare as we hadn’t noticed the proximity to the kitchen entry exit.
Ordered up and sat back to take in the surroundings which for me seemed to be a bizarre mish mash of ornate classic Italian style meets the Kelvin Hall carnival…add a dart board, a dozen goldfish and they would blend in perfectly with the teddies (3 in a bed wins any prize on the stall!) as for the bar, to design something as ugly takes courage. Have to say I’ve seen better looking table tops in a works canteen…..way too basic Formica tops and too small to be functional.
Our starters arrived and I have to say I thoroughly enjoyed the chicken wings in sauce (although they would have been more at home in Frankie & Benny’s than the latest Italian bistro) and the bruschetta was delightful, suffice to say the rest of our order , a pizza and a pasta were nothing better than average.
The house wine is obviously decanted from 3 litre flagons of Plonko Italiano with a wholesale value of £3.50 a litre and a wine list price of £16 per 1 litre.
As for draft beer £2.00 for a half pint of Tennent’s and £2.55 for Peroni is ripping it just a tad!
It should be noted that if you want anything tweaked, altered or varied from the menu…….it will cost you.
Throughout our meal due to the ridiculous close proximity to the kitchen entry exit and the adjacent dining tables, my partners chair was bumped more than 30 times by waiting staff.
This isn’t a reflection on the waiting staff just the “greedy bastard” mentality of the owners on putting probably as many as 20% more bums on seats than it was ever designed to hold. Particularly damming was the 20 stacking chairs stored hard against the fire exit which demonstrates the operators disregard for anything other than profit.
We made our feelings known to a charming young waitress who reported to the head honcho who approached us before we left and promised us a better table next time (how reassuring after a totally crap experience).
If there was one thing that really annoyed me more than anything at Pickles and Plonk was the fact that not once, were we asked if we enjoyed our food.
On a plus side the junior staff work very hard on the floor (albeit they are trying to do far far too much) and…. the kitchen seems to be a well oiled machine even if the quality doesn’t show through due to volume.
Scores a 2 based on a very poor overall experience.